Accountability

Today is day 1. I have had day 1 M-A-N-Y times before and it is never fun. I have silently battled with myself and my appearance namely my weight for many years. I say some pretty horrible things to myself. The things that I say to myself I would never think much less say to another person. Why? Because they can be pretty mean, nasty, and hurtful.

Today I am making the first step to change my harmful thoughts and behaviors. Having a 2nd baby really takes a toll on the body~ especially in your 30s. For the past 8 months I typically run on fumes from an erratic sleep schedule~ and I use the word "schedule" very loosely. I have also been feeling the effects of constant nursing with no supplements. Do not get me wrong I am not whining or complaining. These are conscious decisions that I have made and wouldn't have it any other way. My point being I have basically dedicated my body to science for the past few years and I am ready to reclaim a piece of myself.

I have fought the good fight for many years, but I was tired. I was tired of putting in A LOT of effort with diet and exercise and seeing little results. I guess you can say that I have been on a "dieting sabbatical" since the month of December. I know that I have genetics working against me, but I am entirely too vain to cash out. I simply want to be healthy, happy and set a positive example for the little people who watch and mimic my every move. Today I have a renewed commitment to myself, my husband and my boys.

Me, being "me" has to follow a very disciplined "diet." The plan that I am following is not earth shattering. Eat less, move more, cut back on carbs and sugar. Eat lots of lean protein, countless veggies, limited fruit, probiotics, and healthy oils. Oh yeah, and drown yourself in water! I follow this for a cycle and then change it up on cycle II and then on to cycle III.

I have such a supportive husband who cheers me along every step of the way. He and his bean pole self even follows along with me. Usually about 3 days in when he reaches his "fighting weight" he no longer tells me that he has lost 10x the amount of weight that I have. Some things are best left unsaid!

Here is just a peek at the very large grocery bill that I made today. We have been detoxing our house of the "junk" over the past few weeks.

This is my ultimate motivation #1. (of course in no particular order) There is nothing like those big eyes to get me through another day.
This is motivation #2. I want to be around for those sweet kisses for many years. At this point in time I am the most impressionable woman in these boys lives. I want to set a good example for them to follow. I want to run and play and be active in all the things that they do!
I'm not quite sure why I am writing about this tonight? This is not a topic that I like to talk about and certainly not in a public forum. I guess I am just really ready to make some healthy changes in my happily ever after...