Pregnant

October 12, 2011.

A morning that changed our lives forever.

I woke up and took a pregnancy test that said...

Waiting the 3 minutes for the results can be the longest 3 minutes of your life.

Baby #3 was totally planned,

however the word

"Pregnant"

stopped me in my tracks.

I had to sit down for a second to catch my breath.

When Satch and I decided to get married and start a family 

we always dreamed of the number "3."

I also knew deep down that we would have boys.

Satch's family has yet to produce a girl. 

After Roman was born my baby fever 

kicked up to code RED.

Here I was holding and loving my perfect newborn baby

and so longed for a chance to be able to do it again.

My baby fever was an unexplainable thing.  

It was more of a feeling that I just couldn't shake.

I knew that we were up to our eyeballs at any given moment.

I love and adore my boys more than anything in this world,

but something was still missing?

My theory goes like this.

After Griff was born I just knew that we would have another child.

After Roman was born I could not speak with such certainty.

A few months after Roman was born 

Satch had a real conversation with me.

Satch:"Our hands are pretty full with our 2 kids.  

I'm just not sure if we will have another.

I don't want for you to get your hopes up in case this is it."

Me: "Yeah, yeah, okay."

I knew that we would revisit this conversation when the time was right.

I was also smart enough to let it go at that moment.

Needless to say...

The conversation was revisited and we decided to give it another try.

I remember thinking through the situation.

We both needed to be 100% on board and on the same page.

I didn't want either of us to have hard feelings or resent the other years down the road

for pushing the other into such an important decision.

I didn't want to always wonder what if...

I didn't want for him to blame me for forcing the issue.

The night I planned to have "the talk" with him was pretty amazing.

That day I prayed for Satch's heart to be open to the conversation

and I prayed "thy will be done."

Funny thing,

I didn't even have to start the conversation.

He did.

We talked and made our decision together....

I am so excited thinking about our future.

I am very nervous about having 3 kids 4 and under.

I question my ability to handle it.

I often also question my sanity. :)

What I don't question is His will.   

With lots of prayers for and over our family I know that we will be just fine.