The sweet life of now...
Life is not only a series of experiences, milestones, events, or accomplishments, it is also a series of moments.
So what is a moment?
A moment can be defined as a brief, indefinite interval of time.
I would like to share with you a few of my favorite moments.
April 8, 2006 The moment that we said, “I do.”
Later that evening at our wedding reception I stopped and made a conscious effort to remember this very moment.
March 10, 2008 “It’s a boy.”
Later that day Kenton said to me, “we will have more children but there will never be another moment just like this. Soak in this moment.”
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| Griffin James |
April 27, 2010 “It’s a boy!”
Later that day when I locked eyes with my baby boy. I was finally able to physically see the baby that I already knew so well.”
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| Roman Wade |
June 13, 2012 .... Silence... Wait for it... Wait for it... All eyes on me...
“It’s a BOY!” (again!)
Later that afternoon after the smoke cleared and the dust settled and our big boys left the hospital Kenton and I were sitting numbly in that moment thinking, “what in the heck have we gotten ourselves into?!?”
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| Cohen Jacob |
This is just a glimpse into my “highlight” reel. Some of my milestone moments from this particular season of my life. However, make no mistake that my life is not all joyful moments. My life has also been filled with not so happy moments. Moments filled with rejection, heartbreak, anger, depression, sadness, and fear.
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| Days I just want to hide under the covers. |
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| Days filled with pouty lips and "it's not fair." |
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| Days of screaming and full blown tantrums. |
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| Days of burning dinner several nights a week. |
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| Days of why is being 3 so hard. |
When you add my highlight reel and dark moments together all of those combined moments have molded me to be the person that I am standing here at this very moment. Those are the moments that have prepared me and defined me for THIS life of living in the now...
These small moments of time often carry a very heavy significance on the rest of our lives. Imagine that very moment when you hear:
- You made the team...
- We’d like to hire you...
- or There’s no sign of cancer.
How about the very moment that you have a “chance encounter” that will forever change your life. The moment that you get to say your first hello or your last goodbye. Or that day that your morning was off to a terrible start so you left the house five minutes late. You left an angry, frazzled, hot mess and you were just moments behind a deadly accident.
So often we take this moment “in the now” for granted and are preoccupied chasing the “next best thing.” We are too busy being busy, or dreaming of what is to follow. Looking forward to the weekend, our next vacation, receiving a promotion, when we have more money, or when we are 10 lbs thinner.
We are so preoccupied with the future that we never truly savor the JOY of living in the now. It is okay to miss the next best thing if you’re in tune with the here and now. Because sometimes the best thing is what’s happening at this moment.
God didn’t place you here on accident. That big future we dream of will all of a sudden be over. Then we wish that we could go back and take life just a little slower. The only moment that we are guaranteed is now. Susie once told me that “God only grants you the grace for today. No need to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow you will wake up fresh and be supplied with the grace to get you through that day.” I think back on these words often.
We live in a world that we are bombarded 24/7 with distractions. We fool ourselves to think that we can multitask. The reality is that a person can not multitask and be fully present at the same time. To be present means to first and foremost ask God to be present in our lives and focus on His presence. To be fully present in any situation or relationship must begin there.
I am currently in the midst of a hectic, challenging and busy season of life. I am not proud of my “busy-ness” but it is the reality of where I am. I have a husband, 3 small children, family, 2 jobs, plus a household to run, volunteer work, lots of hobbies, a long to do list, and an even longer want to do list, and a host of other obligations. Frequently I am living moment to moment just to survive.
However, when I tune into the NOW I have witnessed some pretty amazing things that God continues to blow my mind with and show me. I know that he is in constant conversation with me. I just have to be intentional in tuning in and listening to His voice and the enjoying the beauty that he puts before my very eyes.
God often speaks to me through my kids. Sometimes it is a look or a smile. Just one of those moments that you know that it was no one other than God himself breaking in and showing you just a glimpse.
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| Roman |
Often times he speaks words to me through my son Roman. On a few occasions my 3 year old says something so profound and out of the blue that it has nearly caused me to wreck my “Magic van.” An example of that is, “Mommy did you know that God is white?” Think on that for a second. My kids don’t see color...
Every night when I pray with and over my kids I say 2 things:
- You are a good boy and will do great things in this world
- Jesus, shine bright so the world can see your glory.
When I say these words I need to honestly EXPECT God to break in. I also need to fully trust Him when I hand my kids over to him daily because he loves them the most.
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| Griffin |
My newly turned 6 year old has been on a Jesus mission. I am noticing that he has the heart of a missionary. In fact he has already asked how old he has to be to go to Mexico on a mission trip just like I did. So scary yet so exciting!! For two weeks he has been bound and determined to share the good news of Jesus. I asked him to tell me a little more about this good news. He then went into the story of a lady named Mary who traveled to the town of Destrehan. I will be really sad when he figures out it is actually Bethlehem... Last weekend he compiled a song list of “Amazing Grace, Sing Sing, Sing, and Who let the dogs out.” He came up with a plan and was determined to carry out his mission. His plan was to go door to door in our neighborhood and sing song to our neighbor, by chance if they
loved the song they could put a donation into his piggy bank. “But only if they really LOVE the song Mommy.” How can you stop a child who is on mission to share the gospel, right? I held him off for a minute while I put the baby down for a nap. When I returned to him I saw something so special in his eye. He was laying out the plan of how and what he needed to do. I determined at that second to tune into this moment because something special was bound to happen. He was a little nervous and asked me to join him. He asked me to hold his hand as we walked up to the door of our neighbors house. He then sang a song and followed it with a giant hug. I had a tear in my eye and our neighbor did too. When asked why he wanted to do this he said, “because singing makes people happy.” In that very moment I saw Jesus shining through so brightly. Just for a moment I saw a piece of heaven on earth and it was a beautiful thing.
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| Dancing in the rain |
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| Fully in his superhero imagination. |
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| Batman picking out the perfect block of Kraft cheese. |
I have learned so much from my boys. They are the epitome of living in the moment. Whatever they do they do it BIG and that moment is the only one that matters to them. Whether they are full blown into the imaginary world of superheroes, pretending to work on the garbage truck, laughing, or on the floor in a full blown tantrum the only thing that they are thinking about is NOW.
This past New Year’s eve our plans fell through at the last minute. While I was in the shower my two older boys planned out our evening for us. The plans included eating smores by the fire, playing a few games, one of which included draw a portrait of Griffin, read stories, and sing songs by the fire. I can honestly say that was the best New Year’s eve of my life. Roman was playing the guitar and we were singing Amazing Grace. In that moment I looked around
and was so overwhelmed with the absolute beauty of my life. One of those I am blessed so beyond what I deserve moments. I was surrounded by favorite people in the entire world who were singing their hearts out to Jesus. It was such a kingdom moment that was so heavy, rich, and good. The night ended with me twirling my babies around the living room as they squealed with joy. I went to bed with a smile on my face and so much joy in my heart.
God also speaks to me through nature and very often while I am driving. I have come to realize that driving is one of the only times that I am not multitasking, but focusing my attention on one thing only.
Last year was year of the rainbows for me. I saw so many rainbows. Not only did I see rainbows, but I saw even more double rainbows. Every single rainbow that I saw reminded me of God’s promise from Genesis 9:
12-13 The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever. 14 When I send clouds over the earth, and a rainbow appears in the sky, 15 I will remember my promise to you and to all other living creatures. Never again will I let floodwaters destroy all life.16 When I see the rainbow in the sky, I will always remember the promise that I have made to every living creature. 17 The rainbow will be the sign of that solemn promise.
God spoke to me through a dark sky. I was driving through darkness and rain. At that moment he showed me that we are not created to live in darkness. We are created to live in light. Once I called that moment for what it was, an attack from the enemy, I felt a burden lifted and felt like I was no longer being held under water. I could breathe again.
Another day I was driving and praying for my husband. At an exact moment in a worship song the clouds moved and the sun peeked out in a wink. Can you believe that? God winked at me through the clouds. He created that very moment just for me. My entire being was overcome with peace and the assurance that all will be okay. It was very cool!
On another occasion I was in a dark time. I told God that I needed Him badly. I actually told him that I needed to see him... today. That afternoon I was picking up my boys. I noticed a weirdly shaped rainbow in the wrong direction. My thought was “that sure is a weird looking rainbow and had no good reason to be in the sky.” It was a beautiful day with the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky. As I drove further I saw another rainbow just like it. Moments later I was driving down an open street and the entire picture opened up for me. It was two side ways rainbows with the sun shining brightly in the middle. That moment was just for me. The two rainbows with the sun in the middle was God with his arms stretched wide open to embrace me.
In that very moment I received a hug from God. The hug took over my body. It started at my head and the warmth radiated throughout my entire being. I told Him earlier that day that I needed him. He showed up and as always was on time. He revealed himself in a way to me that only I would recognize. He was in the form of rainbows, the sun, and hug. Funny thing with the hug? I ask him for hugs often.
I later told a friend about this experience. She had also seen that unusual rainbow at that same exact time and
took a picture of it. She also thought there is no reason for this rainbow to be weirdly placed in the sky on this beautiful afternoon. She was confirmation of my encounter. It was a beautiful thing.
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| The Hug |
I will let y’all in on a little secret. I do not do public speaking. Actually the thought of it makes me feel like I may throw up or break out in hives. Either way it is not a good feeling. I have been resisting this invitation to speak for a few years. For some reason I accepted the invitation this time around. I did it as an act of obedience. I told
God, “alright, I am doing this for You now you must give me the words.” As I was preparing for my talk a particular bible verse kept coming to mind so I wrote it down in my notes. Psalm 118:24, “This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoyce and be glad in it.” Later that evening I opened my Jesus calling devotional to the day that I would be speaking at the retreat. Guess what the passage was for this very day, April 11? “This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” As always He was with me and smiling down on me as I take each and every step of this walk that we are on together.
This morning as I was getting in the car and heading toward the retreat I was starting to hear a lot of negative self talk in my head. You know the, "are you really going to get up and speak in front of 100 people, all of their eyes will be on you, you really aren't going to do this are you" kind of talk. I sat in the drivers seat and took a deep breath. I looked down at my phone for a second and friend was heading to the retreat and posted Psalm 118:24. A calm spirit washed over me again. Yes my Lord I hear you! Just another reminder that I can do all things through him. The ride to the retreat turned from enemy talk to me talking to God asking if he wanted for me to add anything else to my talk. A ride filled with worship and praise...
On the way driving today as I asked God if there was anything else He wanted me to add to my talk? He told me to add this one more story, so here it goes...
One day I was rushed to get out of the house. I heard the words whispered to me, "die to self." I remember thinking "those words are so weird." A few minutes later I heard the song lyrics whispered to me, "I'm alive because a part of me has died." I realized it was God speaking to me, but it took me a few days to realize that He was telling me that it was time for my baptism. I had been having an internal struggle with the whole baptism thing for a few years. My friends knew this. I had a hang up of getting in a pool in front of the entire church. I didn't want all of the eyes on me. I really build this up to be a BIG thing in my head. I had this deep feeling that my baptism was not going to happen that way. The following week my missional community was meeting in my living room. I heard the whisper once again say, "be brave." I told my missional community of my baptism awakening. I then asked for our group leader to baptism me. NOW... At that point the rest of the group jumped in and wanted to be baptized too! The presence of the Holy Spirit was so heavy in the room. The feeling was electric and pretty awesome. Our leader did not baptize us that night. A few weeks later on June 13, 2013 my missional community was baptized in our neighbors pool by our leader and his wife. Just as I had known all along. I would not be baptized in a traditional setting. My 5 seconds of bravery sparked the baptism of 8 people. Such a kingdom experience!
I have shared with all of you some of my moments. Just imagine if I would have been too busy or too preoccupied in that very moment and would have missed these events that have altered my very life. These kingdom moments are when God breaks in, and just for a second lifts the veil to give us a glimpse of what is to come. These are some of my most beautiful and precious moments. Moments that I hold very dear. Moments that recharge my battery and refresh my soul. Imagine when we will actually live these kingdome moments in consecutive time. Even the thought of that takes my breath away.
For me living in the moment is never easy. I have to pull myself away from myself, technology, and every other thing pulling me in 1,000,000 directions. Some days I am good at this, other days I fail miserably. For me it is an act of discipline and worth my investment. This is just a glimpse of what living “in the now” look like for me. This is only the beginning of my story of living in the now. When you think of living in the now what does it look like for you? What are some steps that you take to clear your head and focus on the present?
